Well, after such a dramatically long pause since my last entry, I wish I had some magnificently profound spiritual revelation to declare; but, alas, I've just simply been too lazy to write. I don't even intend to write anything here. This is simply a ping to rattle the cobwebs out of this place, test the code, let you know I'm still alive (I know you were worried :). Anyway, I guess that I should try to write again soon. I vaguely remember it being interesting when I was doing it regularly... in the beginning. So, it's not a promise, nor a pledge, nor even an expectation, but a simple hope that I'll be posting more often. Thank you, that is all.

When someone has an opinion about a topic, it is reasonable to assume that he or she is informed about the topic. If someone has a strong opinion, I make two assumptions: first, that the topic is interesting enough to have two sides with proponents for each side (i.e. it is debatable), and second, that the person is well informed about the topic. Indeed, pulling these two assumptions together into one, I can assume that the person be well versed in the reasoning and arguments of the proponents who hold the other opinion strongly, the antagonists (at least from this person's perspective). In fact, it is not absurd to predict that the person appreciates the merit of the opposing viewpoint to some extent. Finally, I'll assume that anyone who has taken the time to become so well versed in a particular topic, would like to help others (who do not yet have an opinion, or at least not a strong one) come to the same conclusion that he or she has painstakingly derived. This is all good. Our opinions define who we are. Having strong opinions and wishing to propagate them is healthy.

Likewise, debate is healthy. It allows us to assert our opinions. More importantly, though, it allows us to become more informed and to appreciate the oposing viewpoint more. We should never close the door to new facts and arguments, even when they make our case weaker. Also, we need to grow, and to be aware of the changes that are occuring within us, and how they impact our opinions. Debate is a form of reevaluation.

What I describe is the inner world of the Vulcans (e.g. Spock from Star Trek). Too bad humans can't live there, huh...

Today, in Andrea's weblog, she posted about her worries and fears regarding terrorism. I thought it my be helpful to share my own thoughts on this.

Because of my education in combination with my job, I have a unique (as far as the general public goes) understanding of our military capabilities to detect and defend against airborn threats and a reasonable handle on our capabilities against bio/chemical agents, water supply contamination, dirty or fission bombs, and traditional bombs. I personally believe that our intelligence and defense capabilities against these threats are weaker than they could/should be. I see indications of redirection in military funding to meet these challenges more adequately and more quickly. Of course, these programs will have only limited impact for the first several years of increased funding and, therefore, provide little in terms of improved protection.

I believe that terrorists may be capable of and will attempt to use any number of these techniques on US soil within the decade (although fission bomb is a real stretch). I also believe there is a high probability that the terrorists will succeed on a reasonable fraction of such attempts (i.e. we will fail to prevent some attacks). I believe that personal rights and privacy will be among the victims. I believe that prejudices will flair. I believe that after each such event, patriotism and national unity will be a less capable emotional crutch than it was after 9/11.

To add to these thoughts, I hear news daily from places like Afghanistan, South America, Israel and the P.A., India and Pakistan, China and Taiwan, and US and Iraq, that remind me of the vengence and aggressiveness inherent in mankind. While listening to NPR on my comute, almost every day I have the wretched thought that the precursors of World War III may very well be happening. Of course, I have the relieving realization that before 9/11 I rarely tuned into world news (or even domestic :), and I may just be over-reacting to what has always been; that I have been blind to the timeless horrors of the world, as I think many Americans are, or at least were.

I am sorrowful. I am fearful. I am overwhelmed. I feel helpless. I feel vulnerable. I feel victimized.

Despite all those threats, all my opinions, and all my new-found fears and sorrows, I seem fairly capable of pushing my worries aside and continuing with my daily life. Maybe this is further indication of my shallowness (there have been many :), but given our location and lifestyle, I feel that the near-term threat to my family is low. I also have the benefit of (at least feeling that I'm) making a difference. In particular, this week I am putting together a paper on defending our borders from fairly low-tech cruise missile threats. This makes my job not only a curse but also a blessing: I am aware of the nasty threats and of our defense limitations, but I know that we are making progress.

I am sad that Andrea does not share my guarded confidence. I am also sad that I do not deal with her fears appropriately. I dismiss them to try and soothe her, but that, or course, is the wrong thing to do. I promise to be more careful, more honest, more approachable, and more sympathetic about this.

Year: 1992
Manufacturer: Packard Bell
Mainboard: 486-sx 20 MHz with 2 MB RAM (later 4 MB)
HDD: 120 MB
OS: MS-DOS 5.0, Windows 3.1

Year: 1994
Manufacturer: Home Built (with help from brother)
Mainboard: 486-dx4 80 MHz with 8 MB RAM
HDD: 120 MB
OS: MS-DOS 6.0, Windows for Workgroups 3.11

Year: 1995
Manufacturer: Toshiba
Mainboard: 486-sx 25 MHz with 4 MB RAM (laptop)
HDD: 80 MB
OS: MS-DOS 6.0, Windows for Workgroups 3.11

Year: 1997
Manufacturer: Home Built
Mainboard: Pentium 166 MHz with 32 MB RAM (later 64 MB)
HDD: 850 MB
OS: Windows 95, Windows NT4, Linux 1.x

Year: 1999
Manufacturer: Home Built
Mainboard: Pentium II 450 MHz with 64 MB RAM (later 128 MB then 256 MB)
HDD: 6.4 GB + 2x9 GB SCSII2
OS: Windows NT4, Windows 98, Windows 2000, Linux 2.x

Year: 2002
Manufacturer: Compaq
Mainboard: Pentium 4 1.6 GHz with 512 MB DDR DRAM
HDD: 80 GB
OS: Windows XP Home

Well, yesterday was my Birthday. Every birthday I think: well this is a silly thing to celebrate, nothing special happens today, and I don't feel any different. But, even though I don't feel any different, obviously I am; I've change a great deal over the years...
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Sorry that I haven't written in so long. Holidays; Work; You know...

Anyways, we had an interesting Christmas. Andrea and I were laid up in bed or curled next to the porcelain god for all the day with a stomach virus. I hope we didn't spread it to my family. We at least got to watch Avarie open most of her presents from us, my parents, and Santa. She was very happy. My parents then took her over to my Brother's house, where the feast and the rest of the gifts awaited. We were glad that Avarie was able to enjoy her Christmas and we could suffer in relative peace. The stomach bug lasted about 24 hours for me and I woke up Wednesday morning a new man.

Despite the illness, I had a good Christmas. All the gifts I received were thoughtful and useful. Avarie had a smile all day and got TONS of new toys, and one of my gifts to Andrea was good enough to make her cry :). We were only sick for one day, and we made it to my family's neck of the woods before it set in. It could have been a lot worse. We Americans take so much for granted...

So, that's my holiday story. Feel free to comment about your holiday if you are out there reading this...

Here is a little riddle. Supposedly 80% of kindegarteners get this, and only 17% of graduating Stanford seniors get it:

What is:
    Greater than God,
    More Evil than the Devil,
    The Poor have it,
    The Rich need it,
    And if you eat it, you'll die?

After you have a guess, or have come to wits end, Click the read more link below for the answer.

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Andrea pointed me to a quick online test called The Art Test that picks a famous work of art that portrays you.

If I were a work of art, I would be Vincent Van Gogh's The Starry Night. I am a tiny village at peace while overhead rages the tumult of the heavens. Objects whirl and flash around me in a fevered haze only partially reflected in reality while I remain grounded and secure in my isolation. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test.

The neat thing is that I've had this painting (well a print :) hanging in my apartments since I left college! It is one of my favorites.